Book: I will be one of the best things you read this year.

Book: You will fall in love with my characters.

Book: I'm so good, you'll lose sleep over me.

Book: I'm part of a series.

Book: So you can feel the pain of a character dying in each book.

Book: I will break you emotionally.

Book: I will make you forget the real world.

Book: I will ruin all potential future love interests for you.

Book: You will be emotionally attached to me.

Book: You are mine.